Golfing gone horribly wrong!
by DOTBF
Summary: What would happen if the cast of yyh gets sucked into the world of Mariogolf: Toadstool Tour? And waht might happen if Youko and Hiei had to play? Reviews needed, flames accepted!COMPLETE
1. Let's go golfing!

Golfing gone horribly wrong!

Chapter one: Let's go golfing!

It was a warm summer day, and the sun baked the ground. The park was no place to be because of all the people trying to make the most of the day, despite the heat. The docks bustled with activity. Even the quiet town home development had been busy and rather loud lately.

Yusuke and the others were sitting around outside Kurama's apartment, all wondering what on earth they were going to do. Kuwabara sat on the lowest step, head in his hands watching two little kids play in a little pool in their driveway.

"It's so hot." He muttered.

"No, really?" Yusuke shot. Kurama slumped in the chair on his porch, tiring of the two humans and their frequent arguments. Hiei leaned on the door of Kurama's apartment smugly.

"What are we going to _do_?" Kuwabara complained, "I'm bored."

"Well," Kurama offered. "You could take that mission Koenma was telling you about."

"No way am I going on some stupid mission, especially in this heat." Yusuke said, sitting on the porch and leaning on the railing.

"You could go do-"

"Don't say anything_ homework_ Kurama." Yusuke warned. Kurama fell silent.

"Oh, I know!" Kuwabara said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lets go _golfing_!"

"Oh! That sounds great Kuwabara!" Yusuke said, with just as much distain. "Let's go!"

"What kind of idiot's pastime is _that_?" Hiei asked harshly.

"It's a game where you try and hit a little hard ball into a hole with a golf club, in as few shots as you can." Kurama explained. "And actually," he said, sitting up. "That does sound like something good to do."

"You've got to be kidding." Yusuke said in disbelief. The fox demon shook his head and rose from his chair and began down the front walk, Kuwabara and Hiei following.

"Oh, joy." Yusuke said, reluctantly getting up, and following the other three down the street and into Tokyo.

They arrived at the golf course, to find it completely empty.

"Where is everyone?" Kuwabara asked.

"Else where, I suppose." Kurama answered.

"Hn."

The four of them proceeded to the booth, where Kurama paid for the four of them, and they headed off down a narrow hallway.

The hall seemed to go on forever. A continuous stretch of green carpet and elevator music.

Finally, the four of them reached the doors to the golf course. Yusuke threw open the doors, and gazed around the landscape.

They were standing on the teeing green, facing a wide expanse of bunkers and putting greens. There was an ocean to the side of them, and a few of the bunkers were shaped like crabs or dolphins and whatnot.

"How quaint." Kurama said, gazing around.

"Shiiiiiiii!" a voice screamed out to the right of them. The four of them looked towards the noise. On the teeing green a bit away, there was a little green dinosaur. It had a long red tongue and huge bright blue eyes. It was wearing orange boots, and a red saddle on it's back.

It watched as the golf ball it had hit, sailed off into the blue trailed by a rainbow.

"Yoshie!" it cheered happily.

The Rekai Tantei stared, baffled at it.

Next to the dinosaur was a man. He was short, and a little pudgy. He wore a red long sleeve shirt, and blue overalls. He had on brown shoes that clicked like tap shoes when he walked, and a red cap with an 'M' on it. He had a mustache and black hair.

"Mama-mia, Yoshie, that was-a- perfect!"

The thing called Yoshie smiled, and chirped.

"Um... yea." Yusuke said, obviously clueless.

The man and Yoshie turned at Yusuke's voice and stared at them. The four boys stared back. Yoshie pointed at them and screamed, if you can call it a scream anyway. It was more like a high-pitch yelp. With that the Yoshie darted off behind a palm tree.

The man in red disregarded Yoshie, and approached the four boys.

"Hello-a-there!" he greeted them cheerfully. A bit too cheerfully. "I'm-a-Mario. And, that's-a-Yoshie." He pointed at Yoshie, who was still cowering behind the tree.

"Um, hello." Kurama greeted Mario, polite as usual. "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." Mario said.

"Yes, well, that is Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei." The fox demon pointed to each of them in turn. "And I'm Kurama."

"I see." Mario said.

Suddenly, there was a flash, a bang, and a gust of wind and a tall demon with flowing sliver colored hair, fox ears and a tail, stood before them.

Kurama was silent a moment, wondering how this demon had managed to get here.

"And, uh... this is Youko." He stuttered.

(A/n: wai! Youko-kun!)

Youko said nothing. Kurama sighed, and looked Youko in the eye.

"Why are you here?" he hissed. "I didn't pay for you."

"This is all you're worried about?" Youko asked sarcastically. Kurama sighed, defeated.

"I wanna play though." Youko pleaded. (hard to imagine, hai?)

"Fine." Kurama finally agreed. "I have an extra golf ball, you can use that."

(Here I would have loved to insert Youko happily jumping up and down, but I won't because he's my favorite.)

Youko grinned, and rejoined the conversation.

Mario was talking to Yusuke about plumbing. Yusuke didn't seem to be listening, but Mario took no notice of it, and blabbed on.

Suddenly, there was a noise from behind the strange little group, and three more people and a giant monkey walked towards them. Mario waved.

----

Who could these new comers be? How will Youko do golfing? How will Yoshie react to the giant monkey? All these questions and more will be answered in the next chapter!


	2. Youko golf's!

Chapter: Youko golf's! (wonder how that'll turn out)

"Hello there, Mario!" One of the people shouted to him. He was wearing a green shirt, blue overalls, brown clicky shoes, and a cap with an 'L' on it. He had a black mustache and black hair. He looked, for the most part like Mario, save for the fact that he was taller, and less pudgy. He shouldered a golf club, and tossed a little lime green golf ball up and down.

Next to him, was a girl. She had chocolate colored hair falling about her shoulders, with a small pink tiara atop her head. She was wearing a tight fitting yellow sleeveless shirt, and really short, tight yellow shorts. She had yellow tennis shoes, and was swinging her golf club like a sword. To her it was a sword, anyways.

Closely following her, but keeping at a distance, was another girl. She appeared older, and had lemon colored hair with a little golden crown in her hair. She was wearing a sleeveless pink dress that was far to short, and pink tennis shoes. She cradled her golf club carefully in her arms.

Last, was the giant monkey. He was wearing nothing more than a red tie with the letters 'D' and 'K' on it. The rest of him was covered in brown fur. He was holding the golf club over his shoulder and was walking with both feet and one hand. Normal monkey behavior.

The Rekai Tantei and Youko were baffled. More than baffled. They were completely lost.

"All in favor of ditching the golf course say aye." Yusuke whispered. He received 'ayes' from everyone save for Youko, who was actually looking forward to this golfing thing. The boys turned to where the door stood, well used to stand. It had spontaneously disappeared.

Kurama gazed out over the ocean themed golf course, spotting an 'Exit' sign.

"I suppose we have to play though the course to get to the exit." He said.

"Oh, goodie." Hiei said in a dull hollow voice.

"Well," Mario said briskly. "Now-a that you're all-a here, let's-a play golf!"

The other four approached them.

"Oh," Mario said, "These are-a Luigi," He pointed to the man in the green, "Daisy," the girl in the yellow, "Princess Toadstool, or Peach," the girl in the pink. "And Donkey Kong, or DK."

"Oook ook." DK said.

"Likewise." Youko sighed. Kurama looked at the fox demon.

"You speak monkey?" he asked. Youko just gazed unblinking at Kurama.

"Take that as a yes..." Kurama said under his breath.

Gradually the intros wrapped up and the golfing part began.

First up was Luigi. He chose a long skinny golf club with a narrow club head (that's the part you hit the ball with). He stood to one side of the ball, club grasped firmly in his hands. Luigi took relative aim, brought the club over his head and swung.

"Hiiiii-YAAAAA!" he said, slamming the club head into the ball, sending it flying, trailed by a greenish streak. The golf ball landed just shy of a bunker.

Next was Kurama. He took a club labeled 1I, and adopted the same stance as Luigi had. Kurama took aim, brought the club back, and slammed it into his golf ball sending it flying into the blue, rose petals falling behind it.

"Interesting effect." He said, deep in thought. The golf ball landed on the green a few feet shy of the hole.

_"Nice on!" _Someone shouted. The Tantei looked around. Finding nothing, they took the voice as nothing and continued the game.

Next to golf, was the giant monkey DK. He grabbed a club with a half circle shaped head, 3W was written on it. DK stood to the side of the tee, holding the club with one massive hand. DK lifted the club back, over his head, and swung at the ball.

It was sent flying, close to the ground, and smacked into the flagpole.

_"Pin Shot!" _A random voice boomed out.

"What _is_ that?" Kuwabara asked.

"That was the announcer." Princess Peach piped up.

Youko stepped up to the tee, placing a black speckled golf ball on it. Kurama gave him his golf club to barrow. The fox demon took up the same stance as everyone before, and lined up the club with the ball. He glanced over to where the hole was, brought the club back, and swung...hard. The golf ball sailed off into the sky, followed by silver sparkles. The golf ball landed on the green, bounced twice, rolled a few feet and finally plunked into the hole. Youko stared.

"Um, is that a good thing?" he asked.

_"Hole in one!" _The announcer dude yelled, _"Great job!"_

"Yes, Youko." Kurama sighed, jotting the score down on the sheet. "That is a good thing." Youko smiled, pleased, and retired to the back of the group to sit on the grass and watch the people golf.

Mario golfed next, sending the ball onto the fairway just shy of the green. Princess Peach managed to land in a bunker to the right of the green, and Yoshie hit his golf ball into the flag, causing the announcer dude to shout out,

_"Flag shot!" _he yelled.

"I'm gonna kill who ever is doing that." Hiei growled. Youko smirked.

---

Next up, Hiei tries his hand at golfing. How will he do? Will Yoshie flip out again? How will Kuwabara do golfing? All answered in the next chapter!!!

A/n: hi peoples! just a sad lonely fic authoress here, requestin greviews cuz this fic is so unpopular! maybe_ (person who reviews my fics who i think is nice cuz they review my fics) _will review...maybe not. Anyway, if any of the (as of now non existant) reviewer people have some ideas for thsi I'd be happy to hear cuz i'm a bit stuck. arigatou mina-san, bai!


	3. The fire demon vs the golf ball

Chapter three: The golf ball vs. the fire demon

At this time, all those who had hit their golf balls ran out onto the course leaving Daisy, Yusuke, Hiei and Kuwabara standing on the teeing green.

"Who goes next?" Yusuke asked.

"You do." Hiei replied flatly. The Spirit Detective shrugged and took his place by the tee, placing his golf ball on it. He selected a golf club with a thin club head and set himself up. Once Yusuke was sure he had the right stance, he lined the club up with the ball and swung. Yusuke managed to uproot grass and break the tee for his efforts.

"Dang it," he muttered, and set himself up for another swing. This ended the same way...as did the next fifteen tries. Finally the Spirit Detective got annoyed, having only knocked the golf ball of the tee again. He picked the golf ball up, tossed it the air and hit it like a baseball. The ball sailed through the air, fell the ground, bounced, and finally landed in the ocean.

"Dang!" Yusuke shouted, watching as a little orange dude on a cloud fished his golf ball out and placed it on the shoreline. He stomped off and stood beside his golf ball.

"Hn." Hiei said coldly, watching as Yusuke swore at his golf ball and kicked sand into the air.

Daisy spoke up,

"Why don't you go then?" she urged the fire demon. He stared coldly at her a moment, then dejectedly placed his golf ball on the tee (which by now stood in a small patch of dirt).

Hiei stood to the side of the tee and lined the club up with the golf ball. Not bothering to aim, Hiei swung. And missed.

Kuwabara sniggered. The fire demon ignored it, though and set up for another shot. He swung again.

And missed again.

Kuwabara stifled his laughter, but this time it sounded more like 'gosh, who'd have though Hiei would have bad aim.'

The fire demon stalked up to Kuwabara and slammed the club over his head. Kuwabara fell backwards onto the grass.

Hiei stared at his golf club icily.

"Oh, darn." He said ever so sarcastically. "My club broke, guess I can't golf." And indeed, Hiei's golf club was now shaped like Kuwabara's profile. Ugh.

Hiei tossed the scrap metal aside and stepped to the side, letting the brown haired girl forward.

"You know," she said as she passed. "You can always use a different club."

She set herself up, and swung, landing the golf ball a few feet onto the green. Daisy smiled, flouncing off onto the course to stand by her golf ball.

Taking into account that Kuwabara was still knocked out, Hiei decided that he was up again. He stood by the tee, this time taking careful aim, and swung. The golf ball, this time, sailed into the air, once it reached the highest point it had traveled six feet. Scowling, Hiei used his Jagan eye, and made the golf ball fly onto the green.

"Hey!" Youko yelled angrily, from where he stood on the green, "You're not allowed to do that!"

"Where in the rules does it say I can't?" Hiei shouted, equally ticked off. Youko stayed silent after that. Hiei stalked off of the teeing green and out onto the golf course.

Behind him, Kuwabara was recovering from being whacked with the golf club and sat up (darn, and I was hoping he'd stay down and get left behind...).

He glanced quickly around. He saw absolutely no one. Kuwabara shrieked, jumping to his feet.

"NOOOO!" He shouted, "I've been left behind and I'm never gonna get back to Tokyo ever again!" Kuwabara shrieked again.

"Kuwabara!" Yusuke shouted from his spot on the beach. "Hit the damn golf ball already!"

Kuwabara then noticed that everyone had simply gone out and was standing on the course. He sighed out of relief and took his position at the tee.

"One fer the money, two for the show, three to get ready and..." Kuwabara didn't take aim; in fact, he closed his eyes and swung, "GO!"

Kuwabara's golf club slammed into the ball and sent it flying out over the golf course. Unfortunately, Hiei was still walking towards the green. The golf ball sailed in a wide arch, eventually plummeting back to the ground.

_Thwock!!!_

You can just _guess_ what happened...

Hiei whirled around, rubbing his head where the golf ball had connected. The first thing he saw was Kuwabara, up on the teeing green, screaming and running in circles. Then he saw Yusuke on the beach, laughing uncontrollably at Kuwabara. Then last he saw Daisy, sniggering to herself.

"Dragon..." Hiei muttered...

In short, the teeing green had been completely destroyed and Kuwabara had been dragged out of the flames, smoldering. Then some random paramedics had taken him away, and the manager of the golf course screamed until she was red in the face at Hiei. He didn't seem to care.

After all that had wrapped up, everyone finished their turns. Everyone save for Kuwabara that is, because he now had FOURTH degree burns all over his body and had to be treated immediately. Pity, isn't it?

At the end of the first hole out of five, the scores were:

Youko: -2

Hiei: -1

Kurama: 0

Mario: 0

Peach: 0

Luigi: 1

DK: 1

Daisy: 2

Yoshie: 2

Yusuke: 3

Kuwabara: DISQUALIFIED

---

Thus ending the third chapter! It took a REALLY long time to finish one hole, so I'm gonna make this a five hole golf course so my story doesn't wind up being twenty some chapters. Golf courses are supposed to have 18 holes...


	4. Teh next chapter whose name i forgot

Chapter four: Pebbles and vengeance

A/n: I'm very sorry to everyone who is a Kuwabara fan. I am not. I think Kuwabara is an idiot. Flame me if you like, but I just think its fun to bash him. Also, I kinda like to be mean to Yusuke, and most of the Mario Golf people like Daisy and Peach. Just a head's up, for that. Now, READ!!!

"On to-a-hole two!" Mario shouted, pointing off in the direction of an island that was in the shape of a flamingo.

"A flamingo?" Yusuke asked dully. "We're gonna golf on a flamingo…" he trailed off, realizing no one was listening, and smugly followed in the direction of a convenient bridge to the island.

Once on the island, the bridge promptly disappeared, leaving nothing of its existence there at all.

"Who's first?" Youko asked hopefully. Mario cleared his throat before answering.

"The person—" Here Yoshie made a dejected noise, "Uh, or animal," he added quickly, "with the most points goes first and we progress until the person with the least goes last.

"Meaning…?"

Mario sighed, then pointed to each of the golfers in turn.

"First Yusuke, then Yoshie, then Daisy, DK, Luigi, Peach, myself, Kurama, Hiei, and then Youko. Okay?"

Youko snorted, clearly unamused with being forced to go last.

"So, I'm going now then?" Yusuke asked. Mario nodded. The Spirit Detective shrugged and casually took his position at the tee. He took one look at the new course and yelled,

"This whole course is uphill!"

"What of it?" Luigi asked.

"I can't golf uphill!!" Yusuke protested.

"Deal with it." Hiei shot icily.

Yusuke, muttering unpleasant things under his breath, grabbed a golf club from the bag, and swung at the golf ball with out hesitation.

It sailed up, up, up and then down, down, down, landing in the heavy rough halfway up the hill.

"At least it's better than the ocean," Yusuke mumbled, before stomping off the green and onto the course.

Next, Yoshie took his turn, stepping up to the tee, and placing his golf ball on the tee.

Yoshie selected a short thing club with a big club head, and lined himself up with the ball.

"Yo-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!" He screeched, slamming the club into the golf ball. It flew into the sky, a rainbow trailing it. The golf ball landed on the green,

"_Nice on!_" The announcer dude shouted. Yoshie beamed. Hiei cursed the announcer dude.

Next up was Daisy. Stepping up to the tee, she daintily placed her golf ball on it, and carefully lined herself up with the flag. She carefully brought the club back, and began her swing. She was halfway through the movement when a pebble hit her in the head, breaking her concentration completely. The golf club hit the tee, and the ball teetered on it before falling off and onto the grass. Daisy whirled around,

"Who hit me?" she demanded.

Silence.

Daisy sniffed, then turned around and placed the golf ball back on the tee. She set herself up again and swung. Then a stone hit her.

"Who the heck is _doing _that???" she shouted.

More Silence.

Now, thoroughly annoyed, Daisy hotly put her golf ball back on the tee, and began to lift the club over her head. Then, right before she swung she whirled around. A pebble connected with her forehead.

"STOP PEGGING ME WITH THE DARN ROCKS ALREADY!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her voice, throwing the golf club into the midst of the group. After that, nobody threw rocks at her while she was teeing. Daisy managed to land her golf ball in the bunker.

Then DK hit his golf ball, it landed on the fast fairway. Luigi got his onto the fringe between the green and the fairway. Peach onto the fairway just shy of a bunker. And Mario on the beach bunker.

Before long, it was Kurama's turn. He stepped up to the tee, placing the golf ball onto it. He brought the club back and swung at the golf ball.

It flew off the tee and into the wild blue yonder, rose petals falling behind it. Then it landed on the green, about three feet from the flag.

_"Excellent!"_ The announcer dude said, _"Nice on!"_

Kurama blinked,

"Well, that was um…"

"That was really good," Youko said. Kurama shrugged, walking out onto the course and up to the hole.

Next was Hiei. He stood along side the tee, staring icily down at the golf course. His gaze fell on Daisy. She sat on the grass, shaking sand out of her shoes. Hiei was about to hit his golf ball as far away from her as possible, but then he had an idea. The pebbles had been good. It had thoroughly annoyed her, but what about a golf ball?

Hiei swung at the golf ball, again using the Jagan eye to aim it. The golf ball flew off the tee and onto the course.

_Klunck!_

It Daisy square on the head. She was immediately on her feet, screaming bloody murder at Hiei.

"Oops." He said sarcastically, "My mistake, I'll tryand be more careful next time." Behind the fire demon, Youko was sniggering.

"You go." Hiei said, leaving the teeing green. Youko shrugged, taking his place by the tee. The spirit fox brought the club back, then swung. The golf ball sailed up and onto the green. Kurama ducked. The golf ball bounced, rolled, and plunked into the hole again.

_"Excellent!"_ the announcer dude shouted. _"Hole in one!"_

Youko smiled, then darted up to the green as well. Kurama stared at him.

"What?" the spirit fox asked, noticing his human counterpart.

"Where did you learn to golf?" Kurama asked.

"I had to have something to do while I was stuck in your head." Youko answered.

Kurama blinked, startled.

"There's a golf course in my head?!" he asked, his voice sounding confused.

Youko laughed.


	5. FLAMINGOS

Chapter five: FLAMINGOS!

Daisy was still rubbing her sore head, when Hiei arrived. Of course, the fire demon had overlooked one small detail when he had hit the ball in this direction. He would have to stand there and wait next to the evil person in yellow. Otherwise known as Daisy. He approached cautiously.

"You did that on purpose." Daisy hissed, as Hiei came within earshot.

"Hn."

"I _will_ make you pay." She said her voice a deadly whisper.

"Baka onna."

Daisy sniffed, then waited patiently as the others before her golfed.

Unfortunately for Hiei, Daisy's golf ball had landed father than his, thereby forcing him to go first. The fire demon quickly –but cautiously—began to swing at the golf ball.

"Flamingos." Daisy's voice could be heard behind him. Then, a big pink flamingo appeared right in front of Hiei, completely messing him up. The golf club missed the ball by a mile.

Hiei whirled around, facing Daisy. She was standing in the bunker, leaning casually on her golf club, filing her nails.

"What in Makai was _that_?" Hiei growled.

"Hm? What was what?" Daisy asked in her most innocent voice.

"Hn. Never mind." Hiei turned around and tried to hit the golf ball again.

"Flamingos!" Daisy could be heard again. This time about ten flamingos came stampeding past them, once again destroying the fire youkai's concentration. And once again he whirled around to see Daisy still filing her nails.

"Let me hit the damn golf ball so we can leave!" Hiei hissed. Daisy looked up from her chore, and blinked. Hiei smugly turned back around. But before he could even bring the golf club back…

"FLAMINGOS!" Hiei whirled around just in time to see a flock of some five hundred flamingos…right before they stampeded over him. Thankfully, flamingos have very delicate feet, and dared not actually step on the obstacle that was so inconveniently in their way.

When the dust cleared, Hiei still stood by the golf ball, club in hand. He was a bit shook up, but otherwise everything had remained unaltered. When it finally sunk in that the flamingos were gone, Hiei blinked, glaring at Daisy. She stood in the bunker, grinning evilly.

"Kuso onna." He growled, before muttering…"_Dragon of the Darkness Flame!_"

Oh, yea, the dragon came. Sure. The only tiny little detail that made it _slightly_ less convincing, was that it was…

"ASLEEP?!?" Hiei yelled at his dragon. Daisy was doubled over with laughter at the sight of it. There it was; the mighty Darkness Dragon lying in peaceful sleep, right there on the golf course.

"HOW CAN YOU BE _ASLEEP_?!" Hiei fumed. He stomped up to the dragon and kicked it. The dragon's dark eyes snapped open, and it turned it's mightily head to face Hiei. The fire youkai was about to command it to incinerate Daisy, but the dragon narrowed it's eyes and breathed a steady column of flame at Hiei. Then, it went back to sleep. Hiei emerged form the smoke charred and black, though being a fire demon it had done close to nothing. Hiei's reputation would never be the same…

---

A/n: see, this is what happens when I abandon a fic for a month and then decide to come back to it while hyped up on various sugary food items. You get character humiliation. I would now like to state that, despite being very amusing, I am not trying to bash Hiei. For, as all of my friends know, he is one of my favorites. Thank you for waiting so long and patiently for me to update, and please review!


	6. Peach Blossoms

A/n: Did I tell you how I got this idea yet? I don't think so…so before I forget again, I'll tell all you curious people why I decided to do this in the first place. See, I was playing Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, and I was trying to beat the Blooper Open course when out of the blue on the score board appeared the name 'Yusuke'. So that got me thinking, what might happen if the other Tantei had to golf. And thus, this fic was created. The end. Weird…ne?

Chapter six: Peach Blossoms

When the flamingo golf course had been played through, the scores were as follows:

Youko: -4

Kurama: -2

Hiei: -1

Peach: 0

Mario: 1

Luigi: 1

DK: 2

Daisy: 2

Yoshie: 3

Yusuke: 5

Kuwabara: STILL DISQUALIFIED

The next course that the ten of them were taken two was very small. The tee was up on a cliff overlooking a bay with a heart shaped island in the middle. Rocks surrounded the island, and the gulls flapped noisily in the evening sky.

"How romantic." Peach said.

"Yea, yea, yea," Yusuke destroyed the moment, "Who goes first?"

"You-a-do." Mario said, shouldering his gold club.

Yusuke approached the tee warily. By this time, he had gotten pretty used to messing up his shots. He stood to the side of the tee, and brought his club back and swung. The golf ball rocketed off of the tee and into the sky, a blue streak tailing it. The golf ball landed an inch on the green.

_"Nice on!"_ the Announcer said, _"Gosh, who'd have thought you could hit a golf ball straight!"_

"Hey!" Yusuke shouted at the announcer, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?"

_"Nothing…"_

"Oh, I think it means something!" Yusuke shouted, "It means when I find you, you are SO DEAD!!"

_"Oooh, look, Yusuke's all mad now."_ The announcer cooed.

"This is beginning to look like the 'Know Your Stars' segment of All That." Youko hissed to his counterpart.

"Youko…how did you…?"

"Like I said," the spirit fox replied. "I have to have something to do while I'm stuck inside your head."

"So now there's a TV in my head, along with a golf course?" Kurama asked. Youko merely sniggered.

Yusuke jumped off of the low cliff and splashed through the water onto the island, swearing at the announcer having no effect on them at all.

They played the course through, until everyone had managed to sink their golf balls in the hole. (This was done with no flamingos, no dragons, and no fourth degree burns. And of course, everyone's favorite fire demon took careful precautions to stay AWAY from Daisy and her evil yellow-ness of doom!) Well, actually, I shouldn't say that _everybody_ had sunk their golf balls. In truth, Peach and Yusuke were yet to finish the hole. The others had taken up sitting on the rocks around the tiny island.

"Stupid announcer person…._grumble_…_grumble_…" Yusuke growled, crossing his arms, waiting for the pink-princess to take her turn. When she failed to do anything at all, the spirit detective looked up, unintentionally meeting her gaze.

"You gonna go or what?" he asked, drumming his fingers. Peach smiled sweetly. Yusuke's expression remained unaltered. "Hel-ooooo! Earth to planet pink!"

"Please," Peach said shyly, "You go first."

Yusuke shrugged, gripping the handle of the golf club,

"Whatever."

So, Yusuke took his turn, just managing to sink the ball, causing his score to increase to 8 as oppose to it's original 5. Peach looked on, her eyes shining. She absently swung at her golf ball, sinking it into the hole as well.

"Oh, Yusuke?" she asked in her sweetest voice. "Will you get my golf ball out of there too please?" she batted her eye lashes at him. Yusuke shrugged, Peach's flirting having zero effect on him. He stooped to retrieve the golf balls and then threw the pink one back at Peach.

She was to busy, though, worrying about how her hair looked to notice and wound up getting smacked with it. The impact sent her falling over backwards into a bunker.

"Whoa, hey, are you all right?" Yusuke called, being his normal obnoxious self. Peach sat up, her hand cupped over a bump on her head.

"_All right_?" she fumed, stomping up to the spirit detective. "You want to know it I'm _all right_??"

"Yea." Yusuke answered dully, "If I didn't want to know then I wouldn't have as—OoMf!!"

Peach had simply whipped out a frying pan and slammed it over Yusuke's head. Sadly, there had to be another disqualification due to severe injury…pity, ne?

(A/n: Sorry Yusuke fans, I'm not one of you so don't expect me to be very nice to him)

Peach stormed back towards the group, seeking someone else to vent her anger on. Most of them—having at least an ounce of common sense—made a mad dash for the next bridge that had materialized in front of them.

However, DK had a monkey brain and was also clobbered, this time with a tennis racket. Daisy stood clear, though still within earshot.

"Stick to Mario, Peach. Leave the punks to me." She called. Peach turned from her attempt at dislodging the tennis racket from the giant monkey's neck.

"_You_, Daisy, should stick to that porcupine head." She growled, stomping off towards the bridge.

Daisy hung back a moment, watching as DK met the same fate as two before him and was carried away in an ambulance. She then followed across the bridge. Had Peach meant that short guy with the dragon? Daisy would never find out…

A/n: whoa, two character eliminations in one chapter! Yikes, I must have been hyper, though not knowing it myself…stupid midterms…sorry for the wait…It's been so long that I don't even remember if the previous chapter got reviewed or not! It doesn't matter much though. Just expect a VERY LONG wait between this chapter and the next. I have to study for my midterms and they start on Thursday. I'll get back to writing…say…Wednesday of the following week. Thanks for your patience. Now review!

(PS I'm having trouble with what I'm gonna do for an ending…help, maybe?)


	7. The really random chapter

**A/n: hi there peoples! So sorry for the wait! Midterms, GEPAs and Marking period projects really slowed me down. It's amazing how tired it makes you trying to wake up at six in the morning after a week of getting up at eight…yea. It's been slow, plus I've been working on my regular fiction, but you really don't care WHY do you? So take me apologies and read the fic. (also…there wasn't supposed to be any random romance in this fic…look at the genera thingy if you want proof. But if that was the impression you got then it's COMPLETELY backwards.) **

Chapter seven: The extraordinarily random chapter (Yes, after abandoning this fic for who knows how long, I picked it back up while eating various sugary things from Easter and the chapter came out random like one of my other fics called Chaos.)

Let's review shall we? The Tantei and the Mario Golf crew have played through three out of five golf courses. Three people have been eliminated for…reasons…and will not be making their return until they're released form the hospital in a few months. Otherwise, the scores have been updated to…

Youko: -6

Kurama: -4

Hiei: -2

Peach: 2

Mario: 3

Luigi: 3

Yoshie: 3

Daisy: 4

Yusuke: DISQUALIFIED

DK: ALSO DISQUALIFIED

Kuwabara: DISQUALIFIED…STILL

(No surprise that the eliminations reflect how much I favor the characters…)

"Yo-shiiiiiii!" the dinosaur proclaimed as they set foot on the fourth course. It was relatively simple, three sandy islands connected by shallow sand bars. A lone palm tree stood on the last island keeping the hole in shade. The crystal blue water lapped gently at the shore, sheltered by dense rocks and coral.

"Oh it's so peaceful here." Peach—who had calmed down quite a bit—sighed, taking a breath of salty air. Daisy, Yoshie, Mario and Luigi quickly agreed, the remaining Tantei remained in reflective silence.

"So-a, then." Luigi stepped forward, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the slowly setting sun. "If I'm not-a mistaken, I think-a Daisy goes first."

The others murmured agreement and stepped back, allowing the girl in yellow room to tee off, which she did. Her ball sailed over the course, and came to a wet, splashing halt at the very edge of the water. She beamed, having not hit it into the water all that deep.

And as such, everyone else—aside from the remaining Tantei—teed off and ventured onto the course to wait.

Hiei stared at his golf ball coldly,

"This is stupid." He said finally. "I quit."

_"You can't quit."_ The announcers voice came.

"Why not?" the fire demon asked.

_"You've only got this hole and one more left. Deal with it."_

Hiei snatched up the golf ball, and hurled at the ocean.

"I don't give a crap!" he shouted, watching the golf ball sail out over the water, then finally drop into it with a _plop_! The announcer clicked their tongue,

_"That isn't a good idea…"_

"And why not!" the fire user demanded.

_"Because you hit Shmitty McBoffikins and he's gonna be mad."_ (Note: Shmitty McBoffikins is a toy frog with suction cups on its limbs that I got at an aquarium. But this Shmitty is not a frog…)

At the announcers words, the water where the golf ball had landed began to surge and foam. Then out of the waves came the most hideous thing that anyone could ever think of…**A GIANT PINK BUNNY PLUSHIE THAT SAYS 'I LOVE YOU' WHEN YOU SQUEEZE IT!** (cue all the readers screaming because of the pure horror of the image)

Hiei, Kurama, and Youko stared up at the pink monstrosity, eyes wide.

"Hiei," Youko said.

"Yea?"

"When we get back, remind me to kill you."

"I'll save you the effort…" Kurama said. Hiei swallowed hard.

The bunny plushie waded menacingly towards the three demons, a large stuffing filled hand outstretched. And in a single movement, it had snatched them up and began wading back into the deeper water where it had come from.

Before the giant evil pink bunny disappeared under the water again, it opened its mouth and spat several golf balls onto the island. All of which collided with either Peach or Daisy, then ricocheted off of them and bounced off the other golfers rather like a pinball bouncing off bumpers in the machine.

And then the bunny was gone and submerged under the rolling water. The remaining Mario Golf cast members all lay sprawled on the sandy ground, unconscious. Some missing a tooth or two. And the buzzards came to peck at their corpses.

When Shmitty McBoffikins dropped the three demons, they were in a small submarine. The bunny itself had shrunk considerably and was at that time about Kurama's height.

_"Greetings golfers."_ Came the infamous voice of the announcer, _"Congrats."_

A/n: whooo, cliffy. Ok, I'm sorry for the wait and the annoyingly short chapter. I figured that I had to wrap this up soon and my sugar induced randomness was just the thing to get me there. The next chapter should be the last. Now, if you would be so kind, review!


	8. Back to Tokyo we go!

Chapter eight: Back to Tokyo we go!

_"Greetings golfers."_ Came the infamous voice of the announcer, _"Congrats."_

Youko jumped to his feet looking frantically around the shadowy submarine,

"Come out you coward!" he shouted, clenching his hands into fists.

"Oh, hush, Youko-kun. I'm right here." Came a clear feminine voice from behind the fox. He whirled around, finding only a shadow cluttered corner.

"Where's here?" he asked dumbly. From where he sat on the floor, Hiei sighed roughly, and covered his ears.

"Where I am." The voice answered matter-of-factly. Youko also sighed,

"And where are you?"

"Here!" at this word, out of the shadows (quite literally) leapt a girl. She was tall and had dark brown hair falling down her back in a loose ponytail. Her attire consisted of worn out jeans, and a baggy black T-shirt that had a green dragon splashed across the front. She pushed glasses farther up on her nose as she approached the remaining three.

"Greetings, mina-san." She said perkily. "Have a good game?"

"Hardly." Hiei said coldly. The girl shrugged.

"Oh well. It made for a good fic." she said, "Well then. Introductions."

She clapped her hands, and instantly blue light flooded the aquatic transport machine.

"I trust you already know who I am." She said, taking a seat on a couch in blue that complimented the light.

"Yes, in fact." Kurama said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off, "You would be the authoress."

"Correct!" she said, "My name is Lenni. And as you already know, this is Shmitty McBoffikins," she gestured to the pink bunny. "And, I am escorting you all back to Tokyo."

"But what about the rest of the game!" Youko protested in a whiney voice.

"No worries, Youko-kun." Lenni said happily, "I have replacements to finish the game for you. The other people won't know the difference."

"Oh? And who are they?" Kurama asked.

"Introducing…Larry, Mo and Curly!" Lenni said, clapping her hands again, "The three stooges." At the sound, three people appeared from a side door. One was tall and had a mess of frizzed hair. One was completely bald and somewhat pudgy. And the last was shorter than the other two, and had straight dark hair.

The bald one laughed spontaneously, and got whacked on his bald head for no apparent reason. Then stumbled backwards into the tall frizzy-haired person, causinghim to topple over into a large stack of boxes labeled 'marbles'. The boxes broke, and thousands of little glass marbles spilled all over the floor. Then the three of them proceeded to slide across the floor on the marbles and crash into the opposite wall.

Lenni sighed, slowly running her hand down her face.

"Will you drop the comical antics already? I have a fic to compose here!"

At her words, the three stooges fell silent.

"Right then," the authoress said, getting to her feet and slamming her fist into a large blinking blue button on the wall. "Off you go. Have fun golfing."

The three stooges were instantly gone in a puff of thick green smoke. Off to golf in place of the remaining three Tantei.

Lenni smiled.

"Now as for you three," she began, clasping her hands behind her back, "You will be arriving in Tokyo in approximately…three…two…one…"

A tall glass dome materialized around each of the three demons, sealed airtight. On the bottoms of each were several small rockets.

"Have a nice flight, mina-san!" Lenni said, and waved. Then all that the three demons could see was a blur of blue, green and black. Then the little pods cleared the surface of the water and were flung onto solid land. Namely the docks at the edge of the city. Upon making contact with the ground, the glass pods shattered and dematerialized, leaving the demons unharmed.

When Kurama opened his eyes, Youko had already disappeared into the back of his head. To play more golf…and watch the Amanda Show. He sighed, heaving himself onto his hands and knees. He glanced to the side to see Hiei sitting up and rubbing his head.

The sun was beginning to sink low in the sky, and everyone who was sane were making their way back to their houses for dinner. The evening air was cool.

"Kurama." Hiei said looking up.

"Hm?"

"Next time you, or anyone else suggests another trip like this, remind me to kill them."

"Sure." Kurama nodded, "My pleasure."

And thus, the crazy golfing outing came to a close. Kuwabara and Yusuke were released from the hospital several months later (no thanks to a certain fire user…), and made an annoyingly speedy recovery. As did the cast of Mario Golf, who had to recover quickly so they could go back to entertaining random gamers who have nothing better to do. And all was well. That is…until Lenni had her next crazy idea for a fic…

**THE END!**

A/n: Thank you everyone! Another check in the completed fic coloumn for me! I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews, and the ideas and blah blah blah, all that good stuff in the 'thankyous' part of a fic. Happy reviewing!


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